Diwali

A new group of people have come to my attention, a group that thus far, i have only been vaguely aware of, certain individuals with distinct similarities. They have come together to celebrate a day of special significance. They have come together as one, in many different hues and shades, in raucous giggles or silent rumination. They will be a pleasure to get to know.

waiting

I'm restless, i'm bored, i'm angry.i feel crazy. In frustration, in pain, brows furrowed, glaring at my reflection, i sit in listless agony, willing my phone to ring. I await the sound of your melifluous voice, to serenade me, to elate me, to liberate me.

Woohoo! RECESS! A little hiatus in order to set the topoisomerase on the supercoils that are being infused into my life.

innocence

The loss of innocence is often associated with maturity and wisdom, but it is also coupled with a certain amount of melancholy. In the eyes of most parents, the child can do no wrong, but in the same eyes, the child of another parent is often under intense scrutiny. Whats more depressing is when the innocence lost is not initiated by the child him/herself but rather just a waning suspicion of the parent.
Life generally isn't as scandalous as the parent thinks, (too much soap!) there is nothing sinister about the simple touch or a kind word to a friend. This is like an infectious disease, malignant in nature, it spreads like wildfire, destroying simple traditions. This disease affects other innocent parties as well, often in a much more severe way for that is the nature of gossip and suspicion. Life is meant to be lived! not to be bound by baseless accusations and unwarranted fears.

People, Please GROW UP!

ethics

Today, we had one of our slightly more thought provoking ethics lesson. Ethics lessons are actually pointless, but this one was one of the better ones. Anyway, what would you do if you were given the option to terminate the pregnancy of a mother whose child is going to be born who will need immediate surgery after which the child will still be severely mentally retarded coupled with respiratory problems? There are many arguments for and against termination but some of them have certain underlying principles that alot of people do not recognise.
One argument would have been to terminate when taking into consideration the 'suffering' the child may have to go through, all the stigma and difficulties to fit in. But a lot of people do not seem to consider the prospect that the mentally retarded child would not really know he or she is mentally retarded. and hence no stigma or difficulties. the child would not know that he is not amongst the norm, and hence would feel no different about the issue. any stigma associated would only be acknowledged by the parents.

2 humongously hectic days ahead....

P.S I Love You

P.S I love you..is such a sweet show...
I want to go to Ireland.

awkward silences

Don't you just adore awkward silences? The momentary pause that stretches on to last an eon, in a conversation where everyone becomes shifty and painfully aware of the small beads of condensation trickling down the sides of their drink.
Really, when you think about it, awkward silences, are like a real insight. It shows you how little you know about someone and more importantly how little you care to find out more. You have already asked everything that you want to know about the person and the struggle that you go through in order to go a step further is actually supposed to be telling you something.
But, BUT..once the silence becomes comfortable, you know you're there.!. good for you...
I, personally, really like 'quiet'....or maybe the sound of my own voice..hmmm..

brink

I totally forgot about the blog! lol. I guess alot of things happening in my life currently. I'm writing to you now at the brink of the commencement my school year. Yes. My life of academia starts tomorrow, the 11th of august with the presentation of white coats, why can't they just call it lab coats, cause 'white coat' doesn't actually say prada.
Anyway, It still holds true...

MACbook PRO

I got something even better than the 2 words to keep me going now! A NEW MACbook PRO! MUHAHAHAHA! yay! this is my 1st post from my new com and many more will follow!

Greatness

I got 2 words..just 2 words! These 2 words will take me to my grave....they will fly me there on a silver chariot... Greatness! and Extraordinary!
I have not started my term yet but i know that there will be times where it may all be just too much but then i'll return to this post, and i'll look at the 2 words in italics, and i'll be back on my feet with renewed energy, i know that i'll find my mojo again just staring at the 2 words, i know that this will keep me going no matter what.!.!.!

The Proclamation

I've been wanting to write in for weeks, and i mean weeks, because, i wanted this post to be perfect, the proclamation should be something that would remain eternally lasting. Then i realised today that there's no better way. There is no better way than just just saying " i've been accepted in NUS Medicine" YES! the faceless, huge ass man, said yes!... I am extremely happy, though some people do not seem to be, which i find weird. oh well... never mind that.

Now, there is only the disruption to be worried about, my NS experience has gotten better, i get to go home everyday, but the traveling sux. I also recently cquired the ninja gaiden 2!! haha..awesome gut wrenching game..

waiting....

I can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't think. Oh my god. Theres nothing more i can do but to wait. Wait like a pathetic, helpless little boy, waiting for the big people to tell you whether or not you are good enough. Waiting for some imposing, faceless, giant of a man, who may ask you to leave the foyer and never come back. or open the gates to an existence beyond anything i could possibly imagine.
The wait is more excruciating than i had previously anticipated. The absolute worst thing about the wait, is you never know when it going to be over until it actually is over. pretty classic.

The good news is the plot is coming back to me and i'm projecting something substantial by tomorrow, right now, i am too drunk to think clearly, so yes...tomorrow then.....

onceamonth

This month a post thing has to stop. An update on my life, would include me getting shortlisted for NUS medical school, and me attending the essay test and and me being interviewed by a bunch of scary ass doctors. I've had absolutely had no time to write my book, and i guess i kinda lost the plot as well, but fear not, things will change. While preparing for my admissions tests, i inadvertently reacquired my lost vocab, and also in the due process, got my a brain a kick start. So right now its is working, and in a stable condition, its IDpS is still not optimal, but reports say, it will return to normal, as soon as i enter med school and start some intellectual enrichment. But seriously, i doubt i can't afford to take that chance, i really need to get my mind working, because, today, when confronted by a simple coordinate geometry qn, i got stumped. And that would definitely give me nightmares, even more terrifying than the akmed the dead terrorist.

i shall hopefully back with a better more meaningful post tml...

sispec

After 9 weeks of shit, i get rejected by OCS, and land in sispec, i'm sure they had a perfectly good reason for that!!! This is so fucking pissing me off!!

cold sweat...

Yea, i keep waking up in cold sweat, its awful, i really cannot help it, i toss and turn, i cannot sleep, and when i do finally fall asleep, i wake up breathless, completely drenched, a couple of hours later. Yea, i'm having terrible nightmares, rather a nightmare, singular and repetitive, and coming in increasing intensity. Yea, just one, just the mere though of it sends my conscious mind reeling, i can only imagine the damage dealt to my subconscious one every single night.

Yes, my friends, the NUS medical interview!, Oh my god, i have not realised just how desperate i am for this! Very Very desperate is a serious understatement. I really need it to happen. Every night i rehearse my lines for a non existent interview. I answer a barrage of questions posed by a imposing and faceless man. I feel so small in his presence. I try the comical ploy, it does not seem to be working so i try the sincere gambit, once again, i feel like i am drowning in my own incompetence.

Thats a feeling, i can totally relate to, its something that has surrounded me, rather engulfed and assimilated me since i was a little boy. The complete and absolute helplessness that i feel every night as i lay on my bed thinking, 'Oh lord, please set my life straight, please let it go back on the high road, please, please, please....' is almost like self soul mutilation. I have surrendered to a force that i believe that does not exist, basically banking my life on a concept of nothing.

I want this, no, i need this so bad that it hurts so so so much...

gd times gd times

Had a good weekend, it was very busy for a change. Friday, out with family for shopping cum dinner. We practically raided the Marks and Spencer showroom. Oh but before that, had my 4th driving lesson. I was half asleep! Lol, i couldn't keep the damn car on the road! I was constantly interrupted by my bald instructor, he was like trying to wrench the wheel away from me, and in my dazed mood, i was trying to do the same from him. On hind sight, i probably don't think its a very good idea to have such tussles when the car is moving at 40 km/h.

Anyway, Saturday, hmm, had a lunch cum movie outing. I went for the movie but narrowly missed the lunch. Btw, i think the concept of national treasure is extremely ridiculous, why do all the people with great treasure want to bury it in freakin' USA!? Of all the places! Haiz.. Oh oh, and after i got home, it turned out to be divya's b'day, so we were hauled off to ecp, without our consent. I mean it a an operation worthy of accolades from the likes of military generals. Flawlessly executed! I really really want to go ona blading escapade! like seriously, there i saw this bunch of people, looking so hot in their shiny blades, gliding along. Wahh! I want I want.

Sunday hmm, had a class gathering, after so so so long. Lunch at fish and co, Hmm, pretty filling stuff, thats what mattters i suppose, and it was gd to see alot of people like wei xiang, jeremy and the rest after so long, since i 'pretended' to leave the country. Pretty retarded, i think. anyway even with such high ranking officers like derrick and peh, we had trouble deciding on a place and navigating around.Went to play pool.i suck.

After which, went to have dinner at nydc at suntec, divya's official b'day party. Was pretty fun, despite it being so touchy feely...eeeuch!...Akaash was acting all weird, like really weird, probably due to the presence of a certain someone! lol, i'm more sure than ever loh!HAHAHA...
okok...i want to continue my story. Hey all the weird posts about gin and stuff, i'm just trying to refine my writing, so don't judge too harsh.